The Lord looked down upon the HILL and regretted ever having promised Noah that He would never bring another catastrophe to destroy all humanity.
So much bewildering news; so little enlightenment. Defense corruption, dead zones in the Chesapeake, and Republican zombies. Great.
Republicans are indeed seeking to dismantle Medicare as we know it, replacing it with a much worse program.
The Arab League supports statehood, knowing full well that the chance of the Palestinian Authority (PLO) and Hamas getting along are as likely as Charlie Sheen getting his gig back on whatever show he was on.
You gotta love this world. A little effort reveals events that leave one slack jawed, wide eyed, and incapable of anything but astonishment that homo sapiens still persists.
The constitutionally destructive nature of the Patriot Act is probably responsible for some of the bewildering drop in crime.
Since nothing happened and Harold Camping, 89 year old radio sensation, was once again proven to be one of the world's worst mathematicians, I figured I'd get the word straight from the…well, you know...in other words, God.
One reason Michele Bachman should reconsider her views on evolution.
At least consider that the Republican Party may not be looking after your interests. I'm not saying join us liberals in wanton pleasure fests. Probably best to begin by turning off Fox "All the News That's Fit to Invent" News and watching reruns of Lassie.
Democreeps may be a lost cause in terms of courage and integrity, but Republimorons have plunged head first into the shallow end of a lake strewn with sharp rocks.
Perhaps homosexuality has started to represent the terror felt by those ultra-conservatives whose vision of America lingers in the good old days of "Father Knows Best."
Mr. President, you must act. On behalf of a crippled nation, I call upon you to end this century-old attack on the male-type babies of our nation. It is not too early in your term to consider your legacy.
All of us, even you internet-raised types, must subscribe to more newspapers and magazines. We all must buy more books--from independent books stores if possible, but buy them.
It's almost inevitable that something's going to go haywire with your business. It only makes sense to figure out what your vulnerabilities are and what you should do before disaster strikes.
For those of you unfamiliar with my newly discovered giftiness, learned at the feet of the master of shameless self-promotion, the great Stephen Colbert, you might want to quickly peruse two articles trumpeting my success in getting the good folks at Jameson Irish Whiskey to rewa …
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Come, let us all celebrate the new spirit of bipartisanship that's sweeping the land. The air is cleaner, the water tastes like it came from a mountain stream, poverty is being erased, global warming has been tamed, the economy is robust.
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Have we given up any hope of letting this poor schmuck just be a human being who happened to get elected president? Apparently not.
Avoid the agent route? Leave yourself alone and naked at the mercy of the publishing world? Not an unheard of concept, but one that is generally not recommended...particularly by agents, LOL.
Stephen Colbert is no longer the sole master of insane self-promotion. I, a humble scribe, known to few and beloved by even fewer, have bested Colbert at his own game. Because of my continued promotion, the good people at Jameson Irish whiskey are sending me a free case.
So drill. It's going to take decades for us to figure out reasonable alternatives to our oil-dependent economy but while you're drilling, leave the babies healthy and happy. They're just as valuable...if not more...than the glob or gas you're going to suck from the earth.
President-elect Barack Obama made his first visit to the White House. Your intrepid reporter has sources deep inside the presidential mansion and has learned much of what transpired between the two former adversaries.
Is there a group more trapped in the world of hysterical obviousness than the presidential press corps? What might have happened if the reporters had asked real questions? Let's find out?
Have to confess, the first Jug Ears/Face Flop debate was boooring. Can't anyone say anything new or interesting anymore? Has our political culture devolved to the point where points are scored based on body language, lack of mistakes, and posturing?
One of my most powerful memories of being a teenager was writing in my journal to myself when I was an "old man." At the time, 58 seemed awfully old, but I think I was focused more on 70s, but the issue arises regardless of age & is totally dependent on circumstances.
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Some time ago, long ago that it's not even listed, I wrote an article condemning the Busher for the Iraq but arguing that it would play into the hands of the terrorists if we left.
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